Hi Everyone, (or 5 of you)
I've been all over the place lately and have seriously neglected this here blog. My apologies. I love logging into blogger and seeing my favorite blogs have been updated, so sorry if I've dissappointed anyone, but I doubt I'm anyone's favorite blog. haha.
Anywho, I've been working like a mad-woman these past few weeks and 24 hours in the last 2 work days alone! So I think you understand when I say I'm a little scatter brained :)
Jake and I have been exploring LA more and more and loving it. I can cross a few things off my LA to do list for sure! We dont see each other much during the week, so our weekend explorations are very special for us. I've also been meeting and hanging out with a lot of his new classmates in the MBA program. I like everyone so far and I'm excited to be making new friends.
As I mentioned on here before, my Grandpa Charlie has been sick for the past few months and I've been visiting him in the hospital off and on. Last week his condition worsened considerably, so many of my relatives and family friends were coming in town to visit him for what looked to be the last time. All in one night, his wife, my dad, my mom, my dad's mom, her husband, and 2 of my grandpa's family all came to visit. We had to wear gloves and hospital gowns and could only go into his room 2 at a time.
The most surprising visitor was my Grandma Carolyn, who is my Grandpa Charlie's ex-wife of about 40 years. Growing up, we could not even say the other's name in there presence without causing a huge arguement. As Grandpa Charlie's condition worsened, he began to call for long-lost relatives and friends, including my Grandma Carolyn. I guess they had a very bitter divorce from what I've been told, but he felt the need to apologize to my grandma one last time before it was his time to pass on. I admired him so much in that moment. It was such an emotional moment for both of them and my dad and I. I had never imagined it would turn out like this with both my dad's parents in one room and being civil. Even their new spouses were so touched. I will never forget it as long as I live.
It was very hard to see my strong-willed, stubborn Grandpa in the ICU and having to wear a mask and gown to even go in and see him. I kept telling him how much I loved him and wanted him to get better, knowing that I had to be strong for him. I didnt cry until I got in the elevator to go home, then I just sobbed. And sobbed and sobbed. I was just thinking about all the times he made me laugh, or drove me to my dance classes listening to his weird Australian folk music, or yell out to my brother during his baseball games. He would come to our school's grandparents days, and take us to the park to watch fireworks on 4th of July. He always said the same script on the phone everytime he called our house.
Grandpa C: "Well hello there!"
Me: "Hey!"
Grandpa C: "Hay's what horses eat!"
Me: "haha. Ya ya grandpa."
Grandpa C: "Well, what the hell is going on on Franki St?" (we used to live on Franki St.)
Me: fumbling to come up with a whitty comment
What a guy!
Jake and I went to visit him this past Sunday morning. His condition had worsened since I saw him last Wednesday. He was shouting out to my step-grandma that he wanted it over with when we walked in the room. He was not in a good frame of mind. He turned to me and said he was very sorry that he wouldn't be able to make it to my wedding. I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead and told him that he would be there in his own special way. He nodded and told me he would be. We stayed until he fell asleep and left his room for what would be my final time with him. I knew the inevitable was coming, but we were all hoping he would hang on until my aunt who lives in Florida came to town on Wednesday evening. We all just kept telling him to hang on.
Last night my dad called me at about 9pm to tell me my Grandpa Charlie had passed away. He was crying, I was crying and just feeling helpless. I found comfort in the fact that grandpa was surrounded by his wife, Wendy and my dad and 4 of his family friends. They were actually getting ready to leave and my dad was going to stay with him while Wendy went to feed their animals. Earlier in the day, they had put grandpa in a sleep induced coma so he had been in a pretty peaceful state. Just as they were getting ready to leave, they noticed his eyes opening. His wife went to hug and kiss him and whispered in his ear for a minute or two. She felt him go limp. The nurse came in and confirmed he had stopped breathing. The guests said their goodbyes and left my dad and Wendy alone with Grandpa C. They hugged him and comforted him and just wanted to relish in him for awhile. It comforts me so much to know they had that special time with him.
I will always love you Grandpa Charlie. I know you will look down on us all.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tough Stuff
Today marks the 10 year anniversary of when Jake's brother, Michael, passed away due to a cancerous brain tumor. He would have been 25 next month. It is especially hard for me this year because Michael is my future brother-in-law. I wish more than anything I could have met him and seen him and Jake together. It kills me to see Jake and his parents grieve for their special Michael.
I honestly think he might have been an angel on earth. Every story I've ever heard about him surrounds Michael in innocence, bewilderment and excitement. He was a lover of all holidays, especially Christmas and Halloween. The pictures of him and Jake when they were younger are amazing. Obviously they look alike because they are brothers, but you can just tell how much Michael adored and looked up to Jake. It is the most unimaginable thing you can ever think to happen to a family unit to lose a child with such zest and curosity about life.
I know Michael is looking down on his family today and always.
Love you future brother.
xoxo
I honestly think he might have been an angel on earth. Every story I've ever heard about him surrounds Michael in innocence, bewilderment and excitement. He was a lover of all holidays, especially Christmas and Halloween. The pictures of him and Jake when they were younger are amazing. Obviously they look alike because they are brothers, but you can just tell how much Michael adored and looked up to Jake. It is the most unimaginable thing you can ever think to happen to a family unit to lose a child with such zest and curosity about life.
I know Michael is looking down on his family today and always.
Love you future brother.
xoxo
Friday, July 23, 2010
Oh Friday!
I just love being able to veg out alone on a Friday night. Jake is at the Dodger game with his fellow USC MBAs (I went to our company's suite last night. So cool!) So I'm home alone and veggin' out. I didnt really have high hopes for tonight but was really looking forward to watching my DVR'd episode of Bethenny Getting Married! I came home from work at an actually decent hour and made myself a delciously healthy meal of baked salmon, brown rice and steamed vegetables. Poured myself a glass of cranberry juice and pressed play!
Bethenny Frankel-Hoppy is my absolute guilty pleasure and is probably my newest woman-crush at the moment. I dont know what it is about this show, but I am obsessed with a capital O! Bethenny is so freakin' hilarious and her new husband and baby bump just put me over the edge. They are so darn cute together, I cant even take it. Jake and I got engaged right around the time the show started so I have had so much fun watching her plan her wedding (with a much higher budget than mine!) and start to figure out our own process. I get sad when the show ends and I can't watch her anymore.
Last night's episode showed Bethenny going into labor. Her baby came 5 weeks early and her and Jason were nowhere near prepared. But in true Bethenny fashion, she seemed to pull it off flawlessly with her jokes about going to a bar to get drunk one last time and telling Jason he was soooooo lucky they had sex this week! She's hilarous. It made me so happy to see them so excited to be parents. I am truly just very happy for them, even though I don't know them. Ahhh! I want our experience to be as good as theirs.
Honestly, when I watch positive, happy shows like this, I think how I will be when those life moments will happen to me. I know when we get married and eventually have children, I will be the happiest, most proud wife and momma ever. I've waited my whole life to meet my husband and children and now its FINALLY getting closer! I cannot wait!
I was having my typical hating LA and traffic conversation yesterday with Jake and he kept telling me that all of our maladjustments and uncomfortable feelings about this new life are just sacrifices we have to make for our future and our new family we will create. I love when he talks about that. He is truly my best supporter (and now I'm crying). I know he is right, but its hard to wait for things you want so bad. I just want to be successful, and be a good wife/mother/friend/daughter/grandchild to all my loved ones. Anyway, I'm ranting, but at least in the meantime I can live through my guilty pleasure/stupid TV shows! Happy weekend everyone!
Bethenny Frankel-Hoppy is my absolute guilty pleasure and is probably my newest woman-crush at the moment. I dont know what it is about this show, but I am obsessed with a capital O! Bethenny is so freakin' hilarious and her new husband and baby bump just put me over the edge. They are so darn cute together, I cant even take it. Jake and I got engaged right around the time the show started so I have had so much fun watching her plan her wedding (with a much higher budget than mine!) and start to figure out our own process. I get sad when the show ends and I can't watch her anymore.
Last night's episode showed Bethenny going into labor. Her baby came 5 weeks early and her and Jason were nowhere near prepared. But in true Bethenny fashion, she seemed to pull it off flawlessly with her jokes about going to a bar to get drunk one last time and telling Jason he was soooooo lucky they had sex this week! She's hilarous. It made me so happy to see them so excited to be parents. I am truly just very happy for them, even though I don't know them. Ahhh! I want our experience to be as good as theirs.
Honestly, when I watch positive, happy shows like this, I think how I will be when those life moments will happen to me. I know when we get married and eventually have children, I will be the happiest, most proud wife and momma ever. I've waited my whole life to meet my husband and children and now its FINALLY getting closer! I cannot wait!
I was having my typical hating LA and traffic conversation yesterday with Jake and he kept telling me that all of our maladjustments and uncomfortable feelings about this new life are just sacrifices we have to make for our future and our new family we will create. I love when he talks about that. He is truly my best supporter (and now I'm crying). I know he is right, but its hard to wait for things you want so bad. I just want to be successful, and be a good wife/mother/friend/daughter/grandchild to all my loved ones. Anyway, I'm ranting, but at least in the meantime I can live through my guilty pleasure/stupid TV shows! Happy weekend everyone!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Helllllooooooooo
Hi! I've been meaning to post for days, but my new life in LA has got me really busy. Well, actually just the traffic and my work hours, but I'm adjusting!
Since I've last blogged, I had surgery on my right hand which paralyzed my typing for awhile and made for a real awkward first day of work when people wanted to shake my hand. I learned I could do much more with my left hand than I originally thought possible, and others not so well, but thank god I am fully functioning now. (I think Jake had the worst end of the deal because he single-handedly, no pun intended, moved us to LA!)
My new job is pretty intense and different. I've been working basically 7:30 to 6:00 everyday, which doesn't seem like much, but add in the traffic and the fact that I'm only just training, and you have a recipe for a very busy life ahead at Canyon. The other major adjustment has been lunch time. At PAAMCO, I would normally go to the gym on my lunch hour at Equinox downstairs. Now, Canyon caters lunch everyday and people bring it back to their desks and work all the way through lunch. I have made a few friends who I eat with a couple of days a week, but its still a big adjustment. The food has been pretty amazing though. We're having sushi tomorrow!
Other than adjusting to LA and starting my new job, I've been missing my family and friends a lot. The last few times I've been at home, I feel like my relationships are already changing and life is going on without me. Its a hard concept to grasp. Jake and I have been planning this new chapter in our lives for the past few years now. I always knew this time would come where we would both have to put our heads down and work very hard to attain our dreams. I know it will pay off in the end. I feel very lucky to have my man by my side and especially someone so dedicated to bettering himself. Everything has fallen into place very nicely for us, but change is not something I do very well. Jake tells me all the time, I need to learn to love change. I'm still struggling with that concept. He truly helps me each and every day with my fears, hopes and dreams.
Mostly, I feel like nothing will ever be the same in my life. The past few years have been such great times with friends and loved ones and it has all been so comfortable. Now, I am in an uncomfortable and new environment where I will need to establish a new routine that revolves around longer hours at work and LA traffic. Its not going to be glamorous by any means and its definitely going to be different.
Looking ahead.....I want to make the most of my time in LA because who knows where we will end up moving once Jake graduates and we get married (more on that later). With that in mind, I made a sort of "Bucket List" for our LA adventures. I want to accomplish most, if not all, of these items in the next 2 years. I know its ambitious, but its worth a try!
1. Get a Pink’s hot dog at 2am
2.Eat from a famous food truck, like Kogi’s
3. Watch an outdoor movie at the Hollywood Cemetary
4. Go to a live taping
5. Go to as many USC football and alumni events as possible
6. Shop on Rodeo Drive
7. Go to Venice Beach
8. Go clubbing in Hollywood
9. Frequent “The Hills” hangouts
10. Become a “regular” at a local bar
11. Brunch at the Standard
12. Drinks at the Ritz
13. Dinner at our usual spots, Nik and Stef’s, McCormick’s Happy Hour, Hotel Fig
14. Go to a concert at the Hollywood Bowl
15. Attend the Taste of Larchmont (famous street near Beverly Hills)
Since I've last blogged, I had surgery on my right hand which paralyzed my typing for awhile and made for a real awkward first day of work when people wanted to shake my hand. I learned I could do much more with my left hand than I originally thought possible, and others not so well, but thank god I am fully functioning now. (I think Jake had the worst end of the deal because he single-handedly, no pun intended, moved us to LA!)
My new job is pretty intense and different. I've been working basically 7:30 to 6:00 everyday, which doesn't seem like much, but add in the traffic and the fact that I'm only just training, and you have a recipe for a very busy life ahead at Canyon. The other major adjustment has been lunch time. At PAAMCO, I would normally go to the gym on my lunch hour at Equinox downstairs. Now, Canyon caters lunch everyday and people bring it back to their desks and work all the way through lunch. I have made a few friends who I eat with a couple of days a week, but its still a big adjustment. The food has been pretty amazing though. We're having sushi tomorrow!
Other than adjusting to LA and starting my new job, I've been missing my family and friends a lot. The last few times I've been at home, I feel like my relationships are already changing and life is going on without me. Its a hard concept to grasp. Jake and I have been planning this new chapter in our lives for the past few years now. I always knew this time would come where we would both have to put our heads down and work very hard to attain our dreams. I know it will pay off in the end. I feel very lucky to have my man by my side and especially someone so dedicated to bettering himself. Everything has fallen into place very nicely for us, but change is not something I do very well. Jake tells me all the time, I need to learn to love change. I'm still struggling with that concept. He truly helps me each and every day with my fears, hopes and dreams.
Mostly, I feel like nothing will ever be the same in my life. The past few years have been such great times with friends and loved ones and it has all been so comfortable. Now, I am in an uncomfortable and new environment where I will need to establish a new routine that revolves around longer hours at work and LA traffic. Its not going to be glamorous by any means and its definitely going to be different.
Looking ahead.....I want to make the most of my time in LA because who knows where we will end up moving once Jake graduates and we get married (more on that later). With that in mind, I made a sort of "Bucket List" for our LA adventures. I want to accomplish most, if not all, of these items in the next 2 years. I know its ambitious, but its worth a try!
1. Get a Pink’s hot dog at 2am
2.
3. Watch an outdoor movie at the Hollywood Cemetary
4. Go to a live taping
5. Go to as many USC football and alumni events as possible
6. Shop on Rodeo Drive
7. Go to Venice Beach
8. Go clubbing in Hollywood
9. Frequent “The Hills” hangouts
10. Become a “regular” at a local bar
11. Brunch at the Standard
12. Drinks at the Ritz
13. Dinner at our usual spots, Nik and Stef’s, McCormick’s Happy Hour, Hotel Fig
14. Go to a concert at the Hollywood Bowl
15. Attend the Taste of Larchmont (famous street near Beverly Hills)
16. Go to The Grove's Christmas tree lighting ceremony
17. Hike Runyon Canyon
18. Go camping in Malibu
I will try to update this as they are complete. We already went to the food truck last week and they are having a food truck festival this weekend that we might check out!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I'm sure you're all dying to know....
What I've been up to!
No?
Well too bad! I'm going to tell you :)
Since our engagement, things have been pretty busy. Dinners and outings with family. Jobs ending. Vacation. Moving.
Through it all I have had a perma-smile on my face because Jake and I are so incredibly happy. It's so nice to finally know we will spend the rest of our lives together! I love him so much :)
Last week was my last day at work. Leaving my job was really weird. I was happy to be moving on to new and exciting things with my new fiance, but kind of sad because I wouldn't be seeing my co-workers each day. I was very well taken care of at PAAMCO as well. They gave me a very generous gift on my last day and I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been afforded while working there. But all good things must come to an end, and I am about to start a great new chapter in my life!
Immediately after my last day at work, Jake and I watched the Lakers game at the Fergusons for their annual Scotch Party and then boarded a plane to Chicago! We went with a big group of our friends, but first spent a few days with my grandma, great aunt and uncle in Joliet. My mom flew in from her girls trip in Vegas to show us around her home town. It was exciting to share our engagement story and to have Jake finally meet my grandma.
A little back story...
My grandma Jean is an amazing woman. She lives in Illinois, but every year she would come visit our family in California, even though she absolutely hated to fly. She used to cover her shirt in angel pins and bring a stuffed angel with her to keep her safe. Grandma Jean's visit was always a big event for my brother and I because she was our favorite! She was full of energy and would play with us for hours and hours. I remember going to school and not being able to concentrate because I knew when I got home Grandma Jean would be there! We had such fun. Her personality is just like my mom's but obviously stronger (Jake could totally see where my mom gets it!). She is hilarious and says whatever is on her mind.
Anyway, we arrived in Joliet very early in the morning and went straight to my grandma's house because our hotel room wasnt ready yet. She loved Jake right away and started right in with her story time. I think she wanted to fill Jake in on her entire life. Grandma Jean is a story teller and a half! haha
Over the next day and a half, we spent time with my relatives and showed Jake around the downtown area. We left for Chicago after lunch on Thursday to meet up with our friends.
The drive into the city was absolutely beautiful. We checked into the Westin and went immediately to the top of the Hancock Tower (which has some other vulgar nicknames) for cocktails! My Windy City martini was amazing! We met up with friends afterward to watch the Lakers bring home the championship at a bar called Kincades. It was fun to have a big group of Lakers fans all together out of state to watch the game.
The next day was the US World Cup soccer game and the Cubs vs. Angels game at Wrigley Field. I love going to that stadium because there is so much history! It was a hot day, but we all loved cheering on our home town team. (They just happened to be staying at our hotel as well!) After the game, we went back to the Hancock Tower for drinks and aps. We all needed a nap after that and then headed to a delicious dinner at an Italian place called Carmine's. We went bar hopping afterward until about 4am. So much fun!
The next day was girls day while the boys went to another baseball game at Wrigley. We started at Cheesecake Factory for breakfast, then a champagne bar for pops, and ended up at Navy Pier at Harry Carey's Tavern! That night we had dinner plans at Joe's Stonecrab where our group reserved the boardroom. It was an amazing, bank-breaking meal, but hey, what are fiances for? haha. I wasn't feeling well after dinner, but we joined our friends at the Dana Hotel's rooftop bar for a drink. I'm really glad we went, but Jake was nice enough to come back to the hotel with me as our friends continued to another bar :)
(The rooftop bar had a giant chalkboard wall!)
The next day we met up with our friend from USC, Al (aka Foul). He lives in the city and took us to La Creperie for a delicous breakfast. Jake and I went on the architectural boat tour before heading to the airport!
It was a great trip, but exhausting! And now we are moving to LA! More on that soon.
No?
Well too bad! I'm going to tell you :)
Since our engagement, things have been pretty busy. Dinners and outings with family. Jobs ending. Vacation. Moving.
Through it all I have had a perma-smile on my face because Jake and I are so incredibly happy. It's so nice to finally know we will spend the rest of our lives together! I love him so much :)
Last week was my last day at work. Leaving my job was really weird. I was happy to be moving on to new and exciting things with my new fiance, but kind of sad because I wouldn't be seeing my co-workers each day. I was very well taken care of at PAAMCO as well. They gave me a very generous gift on my last day and I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been afforded while working there. But all good things must come to an end, and I am about to start a great new chapter in my life!
Immediately after my last day at work, Jake and I watched the Lakers game at the Fergusons for their annual Scotch Party and then boarded a plane to Chicago! We went with a big group of our friends, but first spent a few days with my grandma, great aunt and uncle in Joliet. My mom flew in from her girls trip in Vegas to show us around her home town. It was exciting to share our engagement story and to have Jake finally meet my grandma.
A little back story...
My grandma Jean is an amazing woman. She lives in Illinois, but every year she would come visit our family in California, even though she absolutely hated to fly. She used to cover her shirt in angel pins and bring a stuffed angel with her to keep her safe. Grandma Jean's visit was always a big event for my brother and I because she was our favorite! She was full of energy and would play with us for hours and hours. I remember going to school and not being able to concentrate because I knew when I got home Grandma Jean would be there! We had such fun. Her personality is just like my mom's but obviously stronger (Jake could totally see where my mom gets it!). She is hilarious and says whatever is on her mind.
Anyway, we arrived in Joliet very early in the morning and went straight to my grandma's house because our hotel room wasnt ready yet. She loved Jake right away and started right in with her story time. I think she wanted to fill Jake in on her entire life. Grandma Jean is a story teller and a half! haha
Over the next day and a half, we spent time with my relatives and showed Jake around the downtown area. We left for Chicago after lunch on Thursday to meet up with our friends.
The drive into the city was absolutely beautiful. We checked into the Westin and went immediately to the top of the Hancock Tower (which has some other vulgar nicknames) for cocktails! My Windy City martini was amazing! We met up with friends afterward to watch the Lakers bring home the championship at a bar called Kincades. It was fun to have a big group of Lakers fans all together out of state to watch the game.
My Windy City martini!
The next day was the US World Cup soccer game and the Cubs vs. Angels game at Wrigley Field. I love going to that stadium because there is so much history! It was a hot day, but we all loved cheering on our home town team. (They just happened to be staying at our hotel as well!) After the game, we went back to the Hancock Tower for drinks and aps. We all needed a nap after that and then headed to a delicious dinner at an Italian place called Carmine's. We went bar hopping afterward until about 4am. So much fun! The next day was girls day while the boys went to another baseball game at Wrigley. We started at Cheesecake Factory for breakfast, then a champagne bar for pops, and ended up at Navy Pier at Harry Carey's Tavern! That night we had dinner plans at Joe's Stonecrab where our group reserved the boardroom. It was an amazing, bank-breaking meal, but hey, what are fiances for? haha. I wasn't feeling well after dinner, but we joined our friends at the Dana Hotel's rooftop bar for a drink. I'm really glad we went, but Jake was nice enough to come back to the hotel with me as our friends continued to another bar :)
Booze Boy!
The Bellini Sisters!
(The rooftop bar had a giant chalkboard wall!)The next day we met up with our friend from USC, Al (aka Foul). He lives in the city and took us to La Creperie for a delicous breakfast. Jake and I went on the architectural boat tour before heading to the airport!
It was a great trip, but exhausting! And now we are moving to LA! More on that soon.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Best Week Ever
No, I'm not talking about the hilariously awesome show on VH1 that has mysteriously disappeared from TV.
I'm talking about MY life!
WE'RE ENGAGED! To be MARRIED! AHHHHHHHHH!
This past week has been a whirlwind, so bear with me. I want to get it all out so I never forget what my future husband and I went through this first week of the rest of our lives :)
It all started with our Memorial Day plans. Jake had to work the holiday weekend on Saturday so he asked if I wanted to go away with him on Sunday and Monday. I thought it sounded fun so we were throwing ideas back and forth. Santa Barbara, Laguna, Palm Springs and finally decided on San Diego. He sent me a link to the Hilton Bayfront and it was perfect! Done and done.
We had a nice relaxing time Friday and Saturday with friends. Early Sunday morning we hit the road to head South. The hotel was absolutely beautiful and apparently newly built. We got there around 9:30 am and our room wasn't ready so we walked down to the Gas Lamp district to have breakfast at the Hard Rock hotel. Breakfast was fun because have I mentioned Jake is my best friend? We think so much alike and have the same humor so we can laugh for hours at dumb stuff that people probably look at us like we're crazy for laughing at. I dont know this breakfast was just perfect and I was excited for the day ahead.
We walked around the Hard Rock for a little while and went to see where they were setting up a concert later on. We walked back to our hotel hand in hand and were surprised by how nice the weather was. Our room still wasn't ready so we decided to head to the pool with our awesome cooler full of beers that we hid under a towel. I'm pretty sure the waitresses at the pool hated us for bringing in an 18-pack of Bud Lights, but listen, we were about to get engaged, unbeknowst to me, so lay off ladies!
We spent the day soaking up the sun by the GORGEOUS salt water infinity pool on the bay. It was a perfect day, even though Frank was mad that I read a magazine for an hour and "ignored" him. By the time our room was ready, Jake went in to check in and move our bags to our room. I had to guard our Bud Lights and our prime location by the pool. It was a tough job, but someone had to do it! He came back to the pool to say he had upgraded our room. At first I didn't believe him because let's be honest, we are both frugal with money. Then I was kind of mad. Why would you do that for just one night? Its a waste of money. Well he insisted so I went with it. He had made dinner reservations at a place in Little Italy that night so we decided to head up to the room to take a nap and get ready to go out.
I walked into the room and it was perfect. Our view from the 25th floor was so us! Half of it bay view (for me) and half of it skyline view (for Jake). Jake is obsessed with skylines. Anywho, I wanted to take a nap but Jake was not having it. He was in a weird, talkative, slightly drunk from the sweet pineapple drink from the pool mood. I announced it was "quiet time" because I wanted to nap. He was in the bathroom fumbling around with something so I closed my eyes for what had to have been less than a minute. Jake came into the room and was talking and asking questions. Without opening my eyes I shushed him. Then he said, "Berrey I have one more question, will you marry me?" I opened my eyes and said "What?" He was knelt down on one knee right next to the bed with a ring box. It had the most perfect ring I had ever seen in it. I said "Of course!" and we kissed and hugged and cried for what seemed like forever. I finally got the ring on my finger and felt so shocked. He had tricked me! But it was a good trick. hahah
So I called everyone under the sun for the next 2-3 hours. I never did get that nap! We headed downstairs for a champagne toast and it was the most perfect thing. I was so happy to be with my new fiance. We ordered from a friendly bartender and sat and talked about preliminary plans, our family, future kids, even kid names. Isn't that so weird to think just a few short hours ago I was a carefree girlfriend and now I have a fiance and we are talking about kids? Craziness!
We next headed to the Hyatt down the street because they have a 40th story bar that we wanted to watch the sunset at. More engagement talk and a free round of champagne later, we headed to Little Italy to Benicotto. Homemade pasta dream of a place! We were seated on the 2nd story at a cute little table. The night was just perfect and I was even shocked at how happy it made me feel. Jake made everything so special. We shared a bottle of wine and headed back to our hotel. We were going to watch a movie on TV but Jake passed out from all of the excitement pretty early. I was just giddy. Calls and facebook messages left and right! Who can sleep? Then our best friends, Graham and Christi sent up a bottle of champagne and a card. They are so sweet. I tried to wake Frank up to drink it, but no dice. That was one sleepless night. I couldnt shut my brain off from thinking about how much my life had changed (for the better) after that one simple question, will you marry me?
I was getting texts well into the night and some pretty funny ones. It was waking Jake up so we ended up just laying in bed and talking for a few hours. Which is really funny, because Jake's most famous line is, "Berrey, lets just stay up all night and talk." hahah. What a weirdo.
We went to a nice breakfast at the hotel and pretty much stared at my ring and just talked about our future together. We were both still so shocked about what had happened. We decided to leave right after breakfast to head home because we had so much to do and didnt want to get stuck in Memorial Day traffic.
We stopped by my mom's house to show her the ring, then dropped it off to get it sized. I was very sad to give it up for 2 whole days, but it was way too big. Jake thought he was all sly by bringing in one of my rings that I always wear. He didnt realize I always wear it on my MIDDLe finger, not the ring finger. Duh! He gets points for trying though :) Next we went to the furniture store where I bought a new bed, mattress and dining room set. These were all pre-engagement planed purchases, but being engaged made it that much more exciting!
Finally we got home and relaxed by the pool with our friends for the rest of the night. We of course had lots of champagne and shared our weekend stories with them. It was the best!
And cue, the future Mrs. Frank as the most busy person ever. Work was crazy busy this week and every night there was some celebration planned. Tuesday I went to Javier's at Crystal Cove with my old USC roommates for one of their birthdays. This was planned pre-engagement but it was great to share my excitement with them. Wednesday I got to pick up my ring FINALLY from the jeweler and ended up going to Jake's parents for dinner to meet some of their friends from out of town. Thursday was the big ring reveal with all of our closest friends at Maren's house. Us girls chatted about girly wedding and baby stuff while the boys watched the Lakers finals game down at the Catch. Friday a big group of us got drinks at Woodranch and went to see Get him to the Greek. It was a busy week.
Yesterday Maren and I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to fight the crowds at the Quiksilver/Roxy sale thanks to Christi's tickets. I found some good deals! Then a little Target and Bed Bath and Beyond later. We met at Graham and Christi's later on for a champagne toast and we thought we heading to a nice quiet dinner with the 4 of us. We should have known that our group of friends are anything but quiet. We walked into the restaurant and were surprised with an Engagement Dinner at our local favorite, Rosine's. They had set up the entire table with flowers and balloons and even gave Frank and I "Groom to be" and "Bride to be" buttons and sashes. I also received my first "F" initial present from the Fergusons and lots of other fun gifts. These friends are truly special to us and Jake and I were so shocked at how everyone got together for little old us. The night was perfect. We headed to the Tousignants afterwards to continue the celebration well into the night.
And now today, I'm just staring at my ring and loving my new fiance! Also, I just wanted to point out, (that is if you're still reading this rambling), that I truly believe in signs and things happening for a reason. I know on this blog and in my life lately things have been up and down and I've complained about things not going my way. But I think I need to feel those downs to know how thankful I am for this "up" time right now. I have been walking on a cloud. I was speaking with my mom this week and one of those "downs" reared its ugly head. In the middle of my complaining to her she stopped me and said, "Cheryl, listen. All you need to worry about now is loving your husband." It hit me like a ton of bricks because it was so powerful. So this is what I am focusing my positive energy on. Loving my (future) husband and making sure this feeling lasts forever.
Pics of our engagement below!
I'm talking about MY life!
WE'RE ENGAGED! To be MARRIED! AHHHHHHHHH!
This past week has been a whirlwind, so bear with me. I want to get it all out so I never forget what my future husband and I went through this first week of the rest of our lives :)
It all started with our Memorial Day plans. Jake had to work the holiday weekend on Saturday so he asked if I wanted to go away with him on Sunday and Monday. I thought it sounded fun so we were throwing ideas back and forth. Santa Barbara, Laguna, Palm Springs and finally decided on San Diego. He sent me a link to the Hilton Bayfront and it was perfect! Done and done.
We had a nice relaxing time Friday and Saturday with friends. Early Sunday morning we hit the road to head South. The hotel was absolutely beautiful and apparently newly built. We got there around 9:30 am and our room wasn't ready so we walked down to the Gas Lamp district to have breakfast at the Hard Rock hotel. Breakfast was fun because have I mentioned Jake is my best friend? We think so much alike and have the same humor so we can laugh for hours at dumb stuff that people probably look at us like we're crazy for laughing at. I dont know this breakfast was just perfect and I was excited for the day ahead.
We walked around the Hard Rock for a little while and went to see where they were setting up a concert later on. We walked back to our hotel hand in hand and were surprised by how nice the weather was. Our room still wasn't ready so we decided to head to the pool with our awesome cooler full of beers that we hid under a towel. I'm pretty sure the waitresses at the pool hated us for bringing in an 18-pack of Bud Lights, but listen, we were about to get engaged, unbeknowst to me, so lay off ladies!
We spent the day soaking up the sun by the GORGEOUS salt water infinity pool on the bay. It was a perfect day, even though Frank was mad that I read a magazine for an hour and "ignored" him. By the time our room was ready, Jake went in to check in and move our bags to our room. I had to guard our Bud Lights and our prime location by the pool. It was a tough job, but someone had to do it! He came back to the pool to say he had upgraded our room. At first I didn't believe him because let's be honest, we are both frugal with money. Then I was kind of mad. Why would you do that for just one night? Its a waste of money. Well he insisted so I went with it. He had made dinner reservations at a place in Little Italy that night so we decided to head up to the room to take a nap and get ready to go out.
I walked into the room and it was perfect. Our view from the 25th floor was so us! Half of it bay view (for me) and half of it skyline view (for Jake). Jake is obsessed with skylines. Anywho, I wanted to take a nap but Jake was not having it. He was in a weird, talkative, slightly drunk from the sweet pineapple drink from the pool mood. I announced it was "quiet time" because I wanted to nap. He was in the bathroom fumbling around with something so I closed my eyes for what had to have been less than a minute. Jake came into the room and was talking and asking questions. Without opening my eyes I shushed him. Then he said, "Berrey I have one more question, will you marry me?" I opened my eyes and said "What?" He was knelt down on one knee right next to the bed with a ring box. It had the most perfect ring I had ever seen in it. I said "Of course!" and we kissed and hugged and cried for what seemed like forever. I finally got the ring on my finger and felt so shocked. He had tricked me! But it was a good trick. hahah
So I called everyone under the sun for the next 2-3 hours. I never did get that nap! We headed downstairs for a champagne toast and it was the most perfect thing. I was so happy to be with my new fiance. We ordered from a friendly bartender and sat and talked about preliminary plans, our family, future kids, even kid names. Isn't that so weird to think just a few short hours ago I was a carefree girlfriend and now I have a fiance and we are talking about kids? Craziness!
We next headed to the Hyatt down the street because they have a 40th story bar that we wanted to watch the sunset at. More engagement talk and a free round of champagne later, we headed to Little Italy to Benicotto. Homemade pasta dream of a place! We were seated on the 2nd story at a cute little table. The night was just perfect and I was even shocked at how happy it made me feel. Jake made everything so special. We shared a bottle of wine and headed back to our hotel. We were going to watch a movie on TV but Jake passed out from all of the excitement pretty early. I was just giddy. Calls and facebook messages left and right! Who can sleep? Then our best friends, Graham and Christi sent up a bottle of champagne and a card. They are so sweet. I tried to wake Frank up to drink it, but no dice. That was one sleepless night. I couldnt shut my brain off from thinking about how much my life had changed (for the better) after that one simple question, will you marry me?
I was getting texts well into the night and some pretty funny ones. It was waking Jake up so we ended up just laying in bed and talking for a few hours. Which is really funny, because Jake's most famous line is, "Berrey, lets just stay up all night and talk." hahah. What a weirdo.
We went to a nice breakfast at the hotel and pretty much stared at my ring and just talked about our future together. We were both still so shocked about what had happened. We decided to leave right after breakfast to head home because we had so much to do and didnt want to get stuck in Memorial Day traffic.
We stopped by my mom's house to show her the ring, then dropped it off to get it sized. I was very sad to give it up for 2 whole days, but it was way too big. Jake thought he was all sly by bringing in one of my rings that I always wear. He didnt realize I always wear it on my MIDDLe finger, not the ring finger. Duh! He gets points for trying though :) Next we went to the furniture store where I bought a new bed, mattress and dining room set. These were all pre-engagement planed purchases, but being engaged made it that much more exciting!
Finally we got home and relaxed by the pool with our friends for the rest of the night. We of course had lots of champagne and shared our weekend stories with them. It was the best!
And cue, the future Mrs. Frank as the most busy person ever. Work was crazy busy this week and every night there was some celebration planned. Tuesday I went to Javier's at Crystal Cove with my old USC roommates for one of their birthdays. This was planned pre-engagement but it was great to share my excitement with them. Wednesday I got to pick up my ring FINALLY from the jeweler and ended up going to Jake's parents for dinner to meet some of their friends from out of town. Thursday was the big ring reveal with all of our closest friends at Maren's house. Us girls chatted about girly wedding and baby stuff while the boys watched the Lakers finals game down at the Catch. Friday a big group of us got drinks at Woodranch and went to see Get him to the Greek. It was a busy week.
Yesterday Maren and I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to fight the crowds at the Quiksilver/Roxy sale thanks to Christi's tickets. I found some good deals! Then a little Target and Bed Bath and Beyond later. We met at Graham and Christi's later on for a champagne toast and we thought we heading to a nice quiet dinner with the 4 of us. We should have known that our group of friends are anything but quiet. We walked into the restaurant and were surprised with an Engagement Dinner at our local favorite, Rosine's. They had set up the entire table with flowers and balloons and even gave Frank and I "Groom to be" and "Bride to be" buttons and sashes. I also received my first "F" initial present from the Fergusons and lots of other fun gifts. These friends are truly special to us and Jake and I were so shocked at how everyone got together for little old us. The night was perfect. We headed to the Tousignants afterwards to continue the celebration well into the night.
And now today, I'm just staring at my ring and loving my new fiance! Also, I just wanted to point out, (that is if you're still reading this rambling), that I truly believe in signs and things happening for a reason. I know on this blog and in my life lately things have been up and down and I've complained about things not going my way. But I think I need to feel those downs to know how thankful I am for this "up" time right now. I have been walking on a cloud. I was speaking with my mom this week and one of those "downs" reared its ugly head. In the middle of my complaining to her she stopped me and said, "Cheryl, listen. All you need to worry about now is loving your husband." It hit me like a ton of bricks because it was so powerful. So this is what I am focusing my positive energy on. Loving my (future) husband and making sure this feeling lasts forever.
Pics of our engagement below!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Lightbulb
After my last post about how fortunate I have felt lately, I've been thinking. There are many people who cant think like me. For one reason or another, they are down on their luck.
I hurt my knee at the gym yesterday and the pain has gotten a little worse, so I'm stuck in bed right now with a heating pad hoping it gets better soon. It will, but this leads me to a show I just found on TV because of my temporary disability.
The show is on TLC called "I'm pregnant and..." and then they have themes like "in jail", "homeless" and some others. I'm currently watching the "homeless" episode and it is absolutely devastating what these people have to go through. The husband lost his job this year, right around the time they found out the wife was pregnant. They have two other kids and are homeless. They live in a tent and she is about to give birth. Their life is so uncertain and food is an hourly struggle. They depend on society pretty much to feed them and now they are concerned social services are going to come and take their children.
I mean, really? I cant believe this sad situation. And here I am talking about my luck. I am realizing that ANYTHING can be taken away from you in a snap. The stock market could tank tomorrow and I would not have a job. Its just terrifying.
Another strange thing is that this family has been begging for food and money and came up with about $20 one day. They went to the grocery store to find something healthy for mom and baby. It turns out that the cheapest things are the worst for you. The fruits and vegetables she should be eating were way out of their budget and they dont have any way of cooking any of it. That is just plain terrible. You would think the processed and sugary foods would be more expensive and natural foods would be cheaper. Wrong!
Im not trying to be a downer, but I just thought this little story was worth posting because it never hurts to be aware. Aware of how lucky we are to have most things others can only dream about and how quickly some of those things can change. Also, I am going to be moving back to downtown LA where homelessness is way more prevalent than in the OC. I always tried to be friendly and generous to homeless people, but sometimes I was in a rush or scared or couldnt be bothered with giving someone the time of day. I want to make it a goal to think about others when I see them suffering and thinking about what they went through to get to that point.
And the show is ending now...they caught a break! They found someone who will rent them a small home for $20 per week. They had the baby 48 hours later and were able to bring them to an actual HOME. It was so exciting to see. Its so different than everyone I've ever known that has had a baby. They certainly aren't concerned with where they are taking a baby after they are born, but rather which crib(s) to get, the expensive car seat or the latest room decor. Wow! What an eye opener!
I hurt my knee at the gym yesterday and the pain has gotten a little worse, so I'm stuck in bed right now with a heating pad hoping it gets better soon. It will, but this leads me to a show I just found on TV because of my temporary disability.
The show is on TLC called "I'm pregnant and..." and then they have themes like "in jail", "homeless" and some others. I'm currently watching the "homeless" episode and it is absolutely devastating what these people have to go through. The husband lost his job this year, right around the time they found out the wife was pregnant. They have two other kids and are homeless. They live in a tent and she is about to give birth. Their life is so uncertain and food is an hourly struggle. They depend on society pretty much to feed them and now they are concerned social services are going to come and take their children.
I mean, really? I cant believe this sad situation. And here I am talking about my luck. I am realizing that ANYTHING can be taken away from you in a snap. The stock market could tank tomorrow and I would not have a job. Its just terrifying.
Another strange thing is that this family has been begging for food and money and came up with about $20 one day. They went to the grocery store to find something healthy for mom and baby. It turns out that the cheapest things are the worst for you. The fruits and vegetables she should be eating were way out of their budget and they dont have any way of cooking any of it. That is just plain terrible. You would think the processed and sugary foods would be more expensive and natural foods would be cheaper. Wrong!
Im not trying to be a downer, but I just thought this little story was worth posting because it never hurts to be aware. Aware of how lucky we are to have most things others can only dream about and how quickly some of those things can change. Also, I am going to be moving back to downtown LA where homelessness is way more prevalent than in the OC. I always tried to be friendly and generous to homeless people, but sometimes I was in a rush or scared or couldnt be bothered with giving someone the time of day. I want to make it a goal to think about others when I see them suffering and thinking about what they went through to get to that point.
And the show is ending now...they caught a break! They found someone who will rent them a small home for $20 per week. They had the baby 48 hours later and were able to bring them to an actual HOME. It was so exciting to see. Its so different than everyone I've ever known that has had a baby. They certainly aren't concerned with where they are taking a baby after they are born, but rather which crib(s) to get, the expensive car seat or the latest room decor. Wow! What an eye opener!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
In these last few days
I have felt very fortunate. All of the things I have been stressing about have finally come together!
I want to thank those who have been there along the way (you know who you are) and especially Jake for listening to my rants about stupid things I had no control over.
For those that don't know, we found an apartment to rent in downtown LA last weekend. It is a great place with lots of room and beautiful common areas. Here are a few pictures!
The pool area has an amazing view of the downtown skyline. Little known fact, Jake is obsessed with skylines, so its a pretty big deal!
I have also had a career opportunity come my way that is both exciting and unexpected. I cant divulge details yet because I still have a few things to work out. Very happy to have my life in order, although it will be a very different life!
I'm excited for the long weekend coming up, too. Jake and I are heading to San Diego Sunday and Monday for a much needed getaway alone. I cant wait to relax by the pool and be with my best friend! We are staying in the gaslamp area which has bars, restaurants and shopping all within walking distance. If only this week would go by faster!
First up.....more interviews this week, visiting my grandpa in the hospital, and mattress shopping (gotta get those Memorial Day sales!hahah)
Happy here!
I want to thank those who have been there along the way (you know who you are) and especially Jake for listening to my rants about stupid things I had no control over.
For those that don't know, we found an apartment to rent in downtown LA last weekend. It is a great place with lots of room and beautiful common areas. Here are a few pictures!
The pool area has an amazing view of the downtown skyline. Little known fact, Jake is obsessed with skylines, so its a pretty big deal!
I have also had a career opportunity come my way that is both exciting and unexpected. I cant divulge details yet because I still have a few things to work out. Very happy to have my life in order, although it will be a very different life!
I'm excited for the long weekend coming up, too. Jake and I are heading to San Diego Sunday and Monday for a much needed getaway alone. I cant wait to relax by the pool and be with my best friend! We are staying in the gaslamp area which has bars, restaurants and shopping all within walking distance. If only this week would go by faster!
First up.....more interviews this week, visiting my grandpa in the hospital, and mattress shopping (gotta get those Memorial Day sales!hahah)
Happy here!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Lately
Lately, I've felt that everything is happening at once.
Lets recap because I haven't blogged for awhile. Jake was accepted to 3 grad schools. Emory, Fordham and USC. We were so sure he was going to Emory because we both loved the program when we visited the school in Atlanta and were certain that USC would feel like much of the same. So we started making plans to move across the country. We told all of our friends and family. I told everyone at work because DUH!, I would need to find a job. It was all falling into place.
Fast forward a few weeks and Jake visited USC's Admit Weekend by himself and then I met up with him in LA for dinner. He walked out of the building and said, "I think I'm going here." I was like whoa! really? Dont get me wrong it has its advantages like being close to home and will allow me a much easier job search. But we had made all of these plans to move so far away and now we have to un-tell everyone.
So I go back to work the following Monday and my boss wants to know right away. So where are you going? What are you doing? Can you tell me the verdict? He wants to know just like I did, I guess. Jake had to figure out a few logistics so I didnt want to un-tell people that I didnt have to. I told him it wasnt official, but that it was looking like staying in LA would be the decision. More waiting, waiting, waiting, drama, then...........
FINALLY, Jake decides its USC!
We were so happy this whole process was over. And now my work begins. Enter job and housing search hell. I knew I was going to have to do it sooner or later, but it just sucks having to go through it. I have been pleasantly surprised by the amount of opportunities I have found. I dont want to get into specifics on here, but I have a few interviews lined up in LA in the coming weeks. We are going to spend all day Saturday in LA looking for places to live. We have 4 appointments and 4 open house type things, so hopefully we find something!
And in the middle of all of this happening, my grandpa fell and broke his hip and has been hospitalized. I have had another time consuming family issue that has been very emotionally draining. Jake and his parents have been arguing. Our garage door and kitchen sink were having issues. I have to train new people at work and finish up all of my outstanding projects before I leave June 30th. Un-telling people about Atlanta has also been time consuming because I have to explain the process all over again. I feel like I tell it at least twice a day! So like I said, everything seems to be happening at once.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, however. Thank goodness! My grandpa is doing better, I will hopefully soon have a new job and a new place to live. In the moment it seems like a lot, but I know looking back on this time in my life, I will have come out a better person for it.
I do believe that staying positive and giving to others in any way I can has truly blessed my life. For instance, the strangest thing happened to me. On Monday, I came into work and was feeling tired from weekend festivities and somewhat uneasy about my new job prospects. I hadn't really had any solid leads or interview invitations. I opened up my email and 2 people had gotten back to me about my resume submissions. Sweet! And then I got a call, from a recruiter at a company I had applied to. And then my boss sent me a new lead. By the end of the day, I had 7 new opportunities in front of me! I couldnt believe it. I had come in with nothing and left with 7! Never mind that 7 is a lucky number, but I just felt very validated and that my efforts hadn't gone unnoticed.
Even though I've been stressed, I've made time for my family and my friends' important moments in their life. You can never underestimate the effect you have on others when you are truly just there for them. I try to do just that for the important people in my life in my own way. Whether it be visiting my grandfather in the hospital or attending a friend's graduation party, I know my actions and thoughts affect others. And now, I have felt the benefits of that positive energy!
I am going to try my hardest to keep things more updated on here with pictures and all. Stay tuned!
Lets recap because I haven't blogged for awhile. Jake was accepted to 3 grad schools. Emory, Fordham and USC. We were so sure he was going to Emory because we both loved the program when we visited the school in Atlanta and were certain that USC would feel like much of the same. So we started making plans to move across the country. We told all of our friends and family. I told everyone at work because DUH!, I would need to find a job. It was all falling into place.
Fast forward a few weeks and Jake visited USC's Admit Weekend by himself and then I met up with him in LA for dinner. He walked out of the building and said, "I think I'm going here." I was like whoa! really? Dont get me wrong it has its advantages like being close to home and will allow me a much easier job search. But we had made all of these plans to move so far away and now we have to un-tell everyone.
So I go back to work the following Monday and my boss wants to know right away. So where are you going? What are you doing? Can you tell me the verdict? He wants to know just like I did, I guess. Jake had to figure out a few logistics so I didnt want to un-tell people that I didnt have to. I told him it wasnt official, but that it was looking like staying in LA would be the decision. More waiting, waiting, waiting, drama, then...........
FINALLY, Jake decides its USC!
We were so happy this whole process was over. And now my work begins. Enter job and housing search hell. I knew I was going to have to do it sooner or later, but it just sucks having to go through it. I have been pleasantly surprised by the amount of opportunities I have found. I dont want to get into specifics on here, but I have a few interviews lined up in LA in the coming weeks. We are going to spend all day Saturday in LA looking for places to live. We have 4 appointments and 4 open house type things, so hopefully we find something!
And in the middle of all of this happening, my grandpa fell and broke his hip and has been hospitalized. I have had another time consuming family issue that has been very emotionally draining. Jake and his parents have been arguing. Our garage door and kitchen sink were having issues. I have to train new people at work and finish up all of my outstanding projects before I leave June 30th. Un-telling people about Atlanta has also been time consuming because I have to explain the process all over again. I feel like I tell it at least twice a day! So like I said, everything seems to be happening at once.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, however. Thank goodness! My grandpa is doing better, I will hopefully soon have a new job and a new place to live. In the moment it seems like a lot, but I know looking back on this time in my life, I will have come out a better person for it.
I do believe that staying positive and giving to others in any way I can has truly blessed my life. For instance, the strangest thing happened to me. On Monday, I came into work and was feeling tired from weekend festivities and somewhat uneasy about my new job prospects. I hadn't really had any solid leads or interview invitations. I opened up my email and 2 people had gotten back to me about my resume submissions. Sweet! And then I got a call, from a recruiter at a company I had applied to. And then my boss sent me a new lead. By the end of the day, I had 7 new opportunities in front of me! I couldnt believe it. I had come in with nothing and left with 7! Never mind that 7 is a lucky number, but I just felt very validated and that my efforts hadn't gone unnoticed.
Even though I've been stressed, I've made time for my family and my friends' important moments in their life. You can never underestimate the effect you have on others when you are truly just there for them. I try to do just that for the important people in my life in my own way. Whether it be visiting my grandfather in the hospital or attending a friend's graduation party, I know my actions and thoughts affect others. And now, I have felt the benefits of that positive energy!
I am going to try my hardest to keep things more updated on here with pictures and all. Stay tuned!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Have to get this out
How do you stay positive in times of sadness/frustration?
I've been struggling with this concept lately. Some events in my life right now are just downright sad. I tend to keep things like this bottled up inside because I dont want to complain, but at the end of the day I'm not sure if keeping my feelings inside is best for my well being.
I like to have fun and will be the first to say screw it and push things to the next day. Now all of this pushing aside has caught up to me. Nagging at me actually, so today I'm an explosion of emotions. Maybe because today is about mothers. I have an amazing mother and grandmas too, but for some reason this year has been extremely hard on me. I guess I wish my family had some better holidays ahead.
I want to be a positive person everyday. Sometimes its just downright hard. Are we allowed days of sadness? Are we supposed to just let it all out and then move past it? What if we cant move past it? Im struggling.
I've been struggling with this concept lately. Some events in my life right now are just downright sad. I tend to keep things like this bottled up inside because I dont want to complain, but at the end of the day I'm not sure if keeping my feelings inside is best for my well being.
I like to have fun and will be the first to say screw it and push things to the next day. Now all of this pushing aside has caught up to me. Nagging at me actually, so today I'm an explosion of emotions. Maybe because today is about mothers. I have an amazing mother and grandmas too, but for some reason this year has been extremely hard on me. I guess I wish my family had some better holidays ahead.
I want to be a positive person everyday. Sometimes its just downright hard. Are we allowed days of sadness? Are we supposed to just let it all out and then move past it? What if we cant move past it? Im struggling.
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