Adulthood Stress

You know the phrase, "You always want what you cant have?" Well I've been having those thoughts lately. How I long to be a kid again and have no real responsibilities. I used to think being an adult would be so cool. I could stay up late, eat ice cream for dinner and basically do whatever the h*** I wanted. Now, I'm sitting at work in my cubicle longing for the days when my biggest stress was finishing my homework to go play outside with my friends.

When I was younger, my parents would talk about paying their mortgage or buying home-owners insurance and I thought it was another language. I remember thinking, "How do adults know all of this stuff?" I couldnt even imagine a time when I would get to the point in my life where using these terms in my everyday vocabulary was normal. These days, all I hear about are mortgage payments, credit default swaps, lay offs, and gas prices. It makes me long for the days when I had no clue what all of this was, nor did any one think less of me for not knowing. I guess I've grown up, which is a really scary thought.

Things I dont like about being an adult:
1. Getting bills in the mail. I used to think getting something in the mail was really awesome because whenever I did, it was usually a holiday card with money in it or something equally as cool. Now I just get electricity and cable bills. Not so glamorous!

2. Paying for stupid stuff like gas, insurance, car repairs, rent, and groceries. This is all stuff that I HATE paying for. I feel like I am throwing away my money on things I will not have in the future (I would prefer my whole paycheck to go to clothes, but that is a fantasyland, I know.) I also really hate cars and any money I put into them. My car battery just died a couple months ago and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, "I HATE CARS!" But I stalled in a busy parking lot and I dont think any one would have helped me if I did that.

3. Having a full time job. Dont get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY thankful I have a great job during these tough economic times. I feel for the many people who have lost their jobs in the past year or so. However, even if the economy was booming, I dont think I would enjoy sitting in my cubicle 40 hours per week. Especially since its summer. I cant stand being indoors when the weather is so nice. Not to mention, my office is like an icebox and I have to dress in winter wear everyday. I walk outside and sweat all the way to my car. Not so fun!

4. Stressing out about things that shouldnt stress me out because I have little time to live my life. Traffic was nasty yesterday and I'm even stressing on booking our trip to Australia this November (so excited!). I mean seriously, I wish I could have been sitting in the back seat of my moms car yesterday reading a book like I used to do instead of driving on the 55. It took me over an hour to get home and I left the office a half hour early! UGH! And I dont even have the time to book our fabulous Australia trip. We have the flights covered and some of the hotels, but we still need a serious planning session to happen.

So after my freak out session on the freeway yesterday (which resulted in my calling Jake at least 3 times and screaming, "I WANT TO MURDER SOMEONE!"), I realized I needed to calm down, take some deep breathes, and realize what I am thankful for.

I am thankful in my "adult" life for:
1. My health
2. My boyfriend, friends and family and their health
3. Having a job
4. Having basic necessities to survive
5. Being able to help others
6. Living a pretty comfortable life by most people's standards

So.......today's goal: Dont sweat the small stuff!
Holy long post. Sorry!